Not Always Easy

It wasn't long after we lost our girls that it was plastered all over the news about Celine Dion being pregnant with twins.  I'd like to say it didn't bother me, because she's a celebrity and blah, blah, blah....  but the fact of the matter is; I was annoyed about it.  I didn't much feel like hearing that someone else was overjoyed and all the rest of it, while I was grieving the loss of my twin baby girls.  As a matter of fact, I actually remember laying in the hospital when an Entertainment Tonight story about Celine came on the television - I shut it off immediately and cried myself to sleep. 

I guess she gave birth a few days ago.  That's cool, I mean I would always want the best for other people and their children - I would never, EVER wish what happened to me upon anyone.  I'm not resentful.  It just feels like I'm re-visiting the sadness all over again.  My husband and I have been designing a grave marker for the girls over the last few days, emailing back and forth with the Memorial company to make sure it's just right.  I guess that's a huge part of why I've been feeling so down.  I'm relieved at the fact that Kira and Lydia will finally have the recognition that they deserve, but going through this process is a constant reminder of the fact that they are not here with us instead. 

I didn't actually log in this morning intending to write such a sad post... That being said, I'm not really one to sugar coat my feelings, and when it comes right down to it - this is what's been on my mind quite a lot.

It's Friday.  I now have the opportunity to chill out with my family for a couple of days.  With Halloween upon us, I am totally looking forward to dressing D up and taking her out trick-or-treating!  She's old enough this year to understand what "treats" are, so to see the look on her face as her little bag fills up with goodies will be priceless, I am sure.  Thank God for my munchkin, I don't know what I would do without her to cheer me up when things get difficult.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend.  :)



  1. *hugs*

    We lost our son over a year ago now, & I still get sick to my stomach sometimes when I see pregnant people/newborns.

    It's not being resentful - it's being human. ♥

  2. I can't imagine that kind of loss. I am so sorry.


  3. kristin you are so strong and you have every right to feel resentment. Its not fair that those beautiful little girls aren't here.

    We are all here for you and if you need anything your little cousin will be right over!

    I love you tons Kris! Xoxo *hugs*


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